
Much to the chagrin of certain readers, I’ve not written about most recent test drives. In the abstract, test drives are a great deal of fun, an opportunity to see what’s out there, what’s timely, and to speculate on the availability of funds and one’s willingness to balance bread and circus.
In reality, either one goes to purchase a car driven by necessity (i.e., the lack of a drive) or one is out to be seduced. Everyone who goes for a test drive recognizes this in one way or another, as does the manufacturer, advertiser, dealer, salesman, and everyone else in the food chain.
Which means that one must work hard to separate fact from fantasy and accept just how many clothes are being removed. There are side issues that enter into the discussion, including age-appropriate behavior, buyer’s remorse, and the effectiveness of monkey-gland injections. None of these will be discussed here.
Saturday we drove a brace of Mini Coopers. They are terrific little cars, more attractive for the relative scarcity of small, fun-to-drive cars in the United States (in Test Drive 1 we eliminated the Jazz and Civic Si). Were we across the herring pond, there would be other choices — Cinquecento, Clio, Polo, Punto, Twingo, Fiesta, Getz — but we’re here, and the Mini is better for the lack of comparison.
Conclusions:
1. Mini has nothing in common with Alex Issigonis’ version of same (for more on Mini of old, see post on MSN cars). The concept of engineering a modern car with sufficient go and luxury and safety equipment has nothing to do with the manifest of making efficient transport for post-war Europe.
2. Mini is one of those rare devices that, like the iPod, is life-affirming. It is engaging; it makes you feel smarter, better looking; it doesn’t take itself too seriously. It deconstructs the notion of a car and provides aspects of memory in the same way that Disney makes you feel nostalgic and self-conscious at the same time. When the Chris Bangle comes through however — as in the pie-plate speedo or the phony toggle switches — the seriousness of BMW is absent. The playfulness of the brand butters over the niggles.
3. For a relatively heavy car, it drives and handles well. It feels solid and the steering is direct. But there are caveats. The smaller the wheels, the better it drives. Those 17″ run-flat wheels in particular would be hard to live with in winter and city driving. Even on new pavement, they rumble too much. And the sport setting is useful only if you’re planning to use the car on track days.
4. The Sport flavor is a good bit more fun than its lesser sibs. Less 400lbs (or restricted to city traffic) the turbo would not be a must; current config. makes it worth the extra expense, especially for highway driving. The turbo has some lag; it spools most effectively above 3000 rpm. I’d not be surprised to see a supercharger supplant the turbo in future iterations.
5. Minis are best looking in bright colors — red/black and yellow/black being the two most attractive. The Mini whispers ‘Screw the middle age crisis’ and lets one get away with it in ways that a Porsche or Corvette never could enable.
6. Most Stateside Minis are sold with automatic transmission. Which makes sense, as manual is a dead technology. But the driving fun here has to do with being engaged with the process. Though I knew all along that I prefer stirring the gears, I realized that my attraction to little cars is in the engagement — the feeling I had in 1968 when I first went to Britain and wound up fully engaged in driving a Humber Hornet — with a non-syncromesh stick shift (in my wrong, meaning left, hand) that I didn’t much understand and a side of the road to which I wasn’t comfortable.
If I’m going to drive, it ought to be engaging. As of today, I’m going back next Friday to drive them again and maybe buy one. Not sure I’ll get the bright color (Pepper White and BRG being the available models outfitted with the right amount of kit), but at least I will have come to peace with the bread and the circus. Years ago I was seduced by cars, so I might as well be engaged.