
I’ve wanted to do an update on my summer indulgence, a green MiniCooperS:
1. The amount of swag and attention is extraordinary. And even if most of it is dreck, it’s all securely tongue-in-cheek, full of the kind of attention to odd details (op art dashboard and seats, oversized air filler caps, ’secret’ compartments) that bespeaks auto fetishism (auto-erotic fethishism?) and delight. The car is always supposed to be about fun. The company and the marketing team are in sync.
2. Think of another car that says ‘fun.’ Cars have been about travel (‘See the USA in your Chevrolet, sang Dinah Shore), thrills (‘We are excitement,’ claimed Pontiac), creativity (‘Ford has a better idea’), confidence (‘At Ford, quality is Job 1′), status (‘You deserve a Cadillac’). Admittedly, little cars were sold as fun (beginning with DDB’s ‘Lemon’ VW ads. Little Euro imports were fun; Renault’s Dauphin was sold with balloons. The attempts by US carmakers copied this fun theme — especially for Falcons, F-85s, Buick Specials, and Valiants).
But today, especially since 9/11, cars are all about security, safety, substance. No one could imagine a shovel-nosed Audi as fun. ‘Vorsprung durch Technik’ is like something out of Orwell’s ‘1984,’ not a car ad. Mercedes are anything but fun. Even BMWs aren’t fun, especially the Bangle versions, so poorly designed that one dares not buy them in anything but a dark color (better to hide the swoopy hysteria of the surfaces).
Little cars that don’t get across the Atlantic, are fun — odd Citroens like the Picasso and Twingo, the Fiat 500, and Nissan Micra. And you can forget about American cars.
3. Driving the car is great fun, but it’s not a little car. Despite the lack of room, the car is a little tank — more than 2500 lbs. The tiny glasshouse makes it feel more tanklike. It’s twice the weight of the original Austin Mini Cooper of 1961 and the VW Beetle Type 1 (with its 1200cc engine); even my ‘overweight’ first-gen Scirocco weighed almost a thousand pounds less. Which means that the Mini isn’t a bad car, but that our expectations about cars have changed. Today cars are computer controlled vehicles that provide safety, directions, communications, environmental quality, and succor — all in addition to what we expected when we sat down in the horsehair seats of a 1950s MG.

4. To get back to those days, we have one car company that keeps up the traditions and ideals of the Issigonis Mini — Lotus. Ariel and Caterham are nice, but not realistic choices. And Porsche is too serious by half. Only Lotus pushes all the right buttons, hews to simplicity and low weight, excellent handling and practicality. Honda used to occupy this spot; maybe they’ll rediscover it soon. Something to keep in mind when my ship comes in.